Talk about your blank canvas

I sat down to write. I was getting back into the swing of things. I was motivated and sharp and had a bunch of ideas. I was going to start slow, knocking out a short story - or a good chunk of one.

Then my butt hit the chair. And I was lost.

I mean, I knew where I was. It was my house, and it was my desk. But that blinking cursor was laughing at me. (I am not kidding. I heard it, and it wasn't the kids next door.)

It took a little while, but I managed to shake the rust off, and I actually got some words down on that blasted page. And most were even in English (I even capitalized some). Did they make sense? Probably not. I'm sure it's something I'll look at later and laugh. Or cry. Or laugh and then cry.

But that wasn't the point of this exercise. More than anything, I just needed to sit down and start to get back into some sort of groove after being gone from the game for so long.

I didn't expect greatness. However, I did expect at least to be able to sit down and start typing words. I mean, come on. It took like 10 or 15 minutes of fidgeting and knuckle popping before I was able to hammer out a coherent sentence. That was unexpected, but once I got going, I could see where it came from.

More than anything (for me anyway), writing is about rhythm and routine. I get myself into a sort of timing where I can knock out 2,000 solid words in an hour and that's when I'm pretty much my most effective. I'm no where near that right now, though.

As far as substance? I'm not concerned about that now. I just need to get some ideas down on paper and weave them through some sort of coherent sentences. It doesn't even matter to me if I ever read what I most recently wrote again. This is about getting back on the horse right now.

I knew it was going to take some time to get it back, but anybody that knows me knows I have the patience of a 4-year-old. And a hungry one, at that.

But if there's anything I can wait on, it's this. I know what the good stuff is for me, and what it feels like when I get that timing back. I just have to wait for it. Half the fun will be finding it again.

Ready again

It's been too long. It's taken awhile, but I feel like I am finally comfortable enough and organized enough to get back in the ol' writing saddle again.

Let's rewind a bit to how I lost my way as a writer. I didn't really lose my way, I guess. I knew who I was, but....Well, just listen a bit.

I changed careers roughly nine months ago. With it came a whole new world for me to get used to. I moved to a new place. I was doing a whole new career - something 180 degrees away from what I was doing before. I had to get used to what I was supposed to be doing with the new job while getting used to a new home. Oh, and my wife is pregnant, too, so we had to dea, with all of the doctor's appointments and all the good stuff that goes along with having a baby.

Out of all of this, the thing that took it in the shorts was my writing. I missed it, but I didn't have time for it. My new career is pretty demanding from a time standpoint, and I was spending extra time making sure I knew what the hell was going on.

I always heard or read that once you quit writing for a couple days here and there it's so easy to just give into the dark side and toss the writing aside altogether. That was never an issue with me, even if I skipped a couple days. But you know what? All those people were RIGHT.

Stopping was easy. And staying stopped was even easier. But I miss it.

I miss how writing my own things felt, and how I felt after I did it. I miss getting done writing, and then jumping onto this blog and dumping out how I felt after a writing session. I miss the networking with fellow writers on Twitter - which helps so much with my writing. I pretty much just miss everything about writing.

Don't be confused here. I used to be a reporter for a newspaper. And after 17 years as a reporter, I walked away from it. I don't miss that one bit. The only thing I miss from that job is I now have to pay to get into hockey games.

I don't miss writing for the newspaper, I miss writing for me.

That's why I'm starting up again. I'm doing it for me. I figure that's about the best reason to do anything. I'm sure I'll start smaller, with some short stories and stuff, but then I'll get back to those two novels that are sitting in the proverbial drawer.

So stay tuned. I hope there are still some people interested in checking out my musings. But if not, I'll be here anyway.