Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Talk about your blank canvas

I sat down to write. I was getting back into the swing of things. I was motivated and sharp and had a bunch of ideas. I was going to start slow, knocking out a short story - or a good chunk of one.

Then my butt hit the chair. And I was lost.

I mean, I knew where I was. It was my house, and it was my desk. But that blinking cursor was laughing at me. (I am not kidding. I heard it, and it wasn't the kids next door.)

It took a little while, but I managed to shake the rust off, and I actually got some words down on that blasted page. And most were even in English (I even capitalized some). Did they make sense? Probably not. I'm sure it's something I'll look at later and laugh. Or cry. Or laugh and then cry.

But that wasn't the point of this exercise. More than anything, I just needed to sit down and start to get back into some sort of groove after being gone from the game for so long.

I didn't expect greatness. However, I did expect at least to be able to sit down and start typing words. I mean, come on. It took like 10 or 15 minutes of fidgeting and knuckle popping before I was able to hammer out a coherent sentence. That was unexpected, but once I got going, I could see where it came from.

More than anything (for me anyway), writing is about rhythm and routine. I get myself into a sort of timing where I can knock out 2,000 solid words in an hour and that's when I'm pretty much my most effective. I'm no where near that right now, though.

As far as substance? I'm not concerned about that now. I just need to get some ideas down on paper and weave them through some sort of coherent sentences. It doesn't even matter to me if I ever read what I most recently wrote again. This is about getting back on the horse right now.

I knew it was going to take some time to get it back, but anybody that knows me knows I have the patience of a 4-year-old. And a hungry one, at that.

But if there's anything I can wait on, it's this. I know what the good stuff is for me, and what it feels like when I get that timing back. I just have to wait for it. Half the fun will be finding it again.


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